Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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