I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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