There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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