Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize