she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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