In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
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Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
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I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
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