Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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