swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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