I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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