You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We need to rekindle our bromance
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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