3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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