two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize