OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just found puke in my bra..
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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