so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
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WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
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make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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