I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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