Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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