Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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