meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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