So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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