My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize