I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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