I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
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As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
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I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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