Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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