i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
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Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
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Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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