"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
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New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
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FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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