My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
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I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
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I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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