But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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