i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
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Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
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you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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