Plan B is the new Plan A
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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