I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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