his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize