Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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