I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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