Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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