it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
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I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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