i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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