Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
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did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
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Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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