this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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