Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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