Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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