We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize