Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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