I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
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well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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