I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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