Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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