I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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