The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
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If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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