I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
50% drunk capacity currently
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize