Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize