Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
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Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
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I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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